Last week I spoke to the Mothers of Preschoolers (MOPS) group at Mariners Church in Irvine about “Parenting with Intention: Raising Resilient Children”. In a previous post, I discussed the importance of knowing your intention as you make choices regarding your children. What does the “finish line” look like in your marathon of motherhood?
We all want our children to “be happy”, but unfortunately, that is not something that we as mothers can guarantee. Life is complicated and maintaining “happiness” over the course of a lifetime is an impossible task. When in engaged in therapy with my clients, I have a front row seat to the challenges life can present and have witnessed the many ways people react to them. Some people blame, act out, rage, avoid, deny, retreat, or give up. Others process, react, mourn, discover, change, or become strengthened by their trials. Many are somewhere in between the two. The bottom line is, we will all have our struggles, but how we respond to them will be the defining characteristic of our overall well being. And that characteristic is called resilience.
- the power or ability to return to the original form, position,etc., after being bent, compressed, or stretched; elasticity.
- ability to recover readily from illness, depression, adversity, or the like; buoyancy.
As a mother, I have concluded that my own “parenting finish line” is to try and raise resilient children, meaning, people who can meet the challenges of life, grow from them, and be strengthened by them.
3 Factors of Resilient Children
There have been numerous studies about what determines resiliency in a person, especially in children. Researchers have identified many contributors, but there are three factors that show up in study and study that are attributed with heavily influence resiliency in a child. They are:
1) Internal Makeup
2) Immediate Family
3) Extended Community
As mothers, these are three things we can greatly influence. I will be writing a following post series that goes more in depth into each of these factors and ways that we as parents, can instill in our children the priceless gift of resiliency.